everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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