i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
