went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
