tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
