Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
