I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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