There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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