I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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