5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
