Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
