so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Two words: blizzard sex
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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