So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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