morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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