yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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