so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
