Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize