Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize