Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
