Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
