I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
