She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
