He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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