no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
