TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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