she takes plan B like it's going out of style
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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