This is not my ceiling
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm always down for nudity.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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