Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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