Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
