I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
