EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
