zippers are such a cool invention
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize