Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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