Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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