There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
