i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just google imaged poop.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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