well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
