i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
