fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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