So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
