Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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