stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
