scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my being single is dangerous.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
