MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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