She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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