He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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