worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
