my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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