he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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