In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
