So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
