she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
