ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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