I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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