We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
