im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
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I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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