Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
