So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
