Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
