You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
