All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think my tv is drunk
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
